Monday, February 6, 2012

What not to SAY to a new mom

I have been a mother for a little over three years now, four if you count pregnancy. Over the years I have encountered quite a few odd/annoying comments. I often think to myself "what are people thinking," and "how on earth do they find that helpful?"
Of course I realize that new mothers (or moms in general) can be a bit hormonal, first time moms admit later  to being a bit crazy and tend to over react. However, the general population of this great country need to realize that they are NOT helping.
So let me help you say they right thing, trust me that new mom you see in walmart will thank me.

 You look tired, baby keeping you up?- Someone said this to me when L was a few weeks old, I wanted to throat punch her. I had been feeling great, I left the store crying. Seriously this is just plain rude, and never ok to say to a new mom (or anyone for that matter).

 Is she sleeping through the night yet? I realize that your grown child, or your mothers uncles wifes sons bff slept through that night from birth and is the most perfect baby, mine however is not. Do you really want to hear about the poopplosion she had last night that got all over her, mr, me, and the cat? No, I didn't think so.

You're NOT breast feeding?- Guess what, not ever woman in the world can/wants to bf. We KNOW that breast is best. You however do not know the struggles we have had with it. Please stop asking about our boobs, or we might start asking about yours.

You're STILL breast feeding?- Our bodies were meant to do this you know. Sweet baby Jesus was not fed a bottle of similac. *gasp* Our (meaning mine and my husbands) baby, our (meaning not you) choice. Once again, please stop talking about our boobs, next time we'll squirt milk at you.

Well, I (fill in blank here) did this when (fill in the blank here), they turned out just fine.- Yes, but think of all the babies who did die from not being in a carseat and from sleeping with a blanket over their heads. I totally realize that your mother told you to that water was ok for a newborn to drink, me though I would rather not drown my baby.

Don't hold her to much you'll spoil her.-  God designed infants to completely rely on their mothers 110% of the time, how silly of us mothers to think that the crying baby wants to be held by us.

Her fingers are in her mouth/ she is crying/ look at her wiggle she MUST be hungry.- It's my job to know when my baby is hungry, I'm really good at it. I'll take care of it and don't need your help. If I have a newborn we are just getting to know each other, please let us figure it out. If we need your help, we will ask! Otherwise be helpful and go wash some dishes, or hold the baby so I can shower for the first time in three days.

She is so fussy, must be teething.- I was once told to pop my baby's tooth out with a popsicle stick, I hope you can see why I am weary of teething advice. Some times babies cry, some times babies have cranky days, (don't we all?) not every cry can be attributed to teething. If baby is teething, give us a hug we need it.

She looks just like her dad!- This happens to me all the time, "Oh she looks just like Mr, spitting image!" Um really?  Right, because I didn't carry her for nine months, my skin tearing apart, losing my ability to breath. I'm the one to went through labor, ME! The least you could say is that my kid looks a little like me. Thanks

I really hope this helps you next time you talk to a new mom. Remember you can never go wrong with "Your baby is so beautiful!"

Coming soon- What NOT to say to a parent of a toddler, and You are NOT a parent, you don't get it.
As always I LOVE comments and followers. Go ahead, pin this, share this, tweet about it, I really wont mind.